THE People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has called for a worldwide ban on St. Patrick’s day celebrations due to the missionary’s past history with snakes in Ireland. The animal rights group said the patron saint was nothing more than a ‘sadist reptile hater’ who took pleasure in killing animals in the name of religion.
according to physics, nothing ever quite touches. when you lay your hand on something, there is a microscopic amount of space between the atoms of your hand and whatever you’re touching. so no, officer, technically i’m not jacking off right now